Silence and Selfishness
There is an eerie connection in the Scripture between silence and selfishness. When I read about the life of David and other godly men who often showed their flawed, human weaknesses in public ways, I am reminded of this truth. Frequently, David failed. Frequently, he went in a direction that was very much the opposite of what God had in mind. But, in his time of despair, David sought out silence and solitude.
What I find strange about it is the contrast and seeming paradox of seeking the very thing with which you are plagued at that moment: I would call it, "aloneness." When I make a selfish decision, I suddenly feel very alone. The last thing I want is more quiet and more "alone time." But it would seem that David knew better. He made a point to go far away from the noise of the public chatter, to find a place to be still before God and to be alone (well, he took his guitar with him...yes, I know, he called it a harp...six in one, half-dozen in the other).
Why? Why be alone when you already feel abandoned for caving in to your weaknesses, failing God, and possibly failing friends and family? I think it is because noise fosters more selfishness. We have to disregard the fact that when we are guilt-stricken and feeling "love-deprived," we want to be surrounded by loving people, to help us "feel better," again. The truth is that what got us into that mess to begin with was "the noise of selfishness," and the noise simply doesn't help us move our thoughts away from "me" and back to "Him."
It reminds me of a church music internship that I worked years ago (17, to be exact), and a particularly crazy Sunday full of activities following morning worship services. That day, in general, is not a good memory for me, and I thought and probably said some things I should not have thought or said. Overall, I just wanted to leave...to go home, but I still had a 75-minute drive to get to where I lived, and it was 10PM before I left. So, I cranked up the loudest, wildest, most complex music my little car stereo could handle, and I started blazing my trail. About 20 minutes down the road, I pulled off into a corn field in the middle of nowhere (or pretty close to it), and drove as far into that field as I could, where no one could possibly find me. I got out of the car, met the cool chill in the air, broke out my guitar, and began to worship God in His silence and under His stars...
...
[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/18580420]
What I find strange about it is the contrast and seeming paradox of seeking the very thing with which you are plagued at that moment: I would call it, "aloneness." When I make a selfish decision, I suddenly feel very alone. The last thing I want is more quiet and more "alone time." But it would seem that David knew better. He made a point to go far away from the noise of the public chatter, to find a place to be still before God and to be alone (well, he took his guitar with him...yes, I know, he called it a harp...six in one, half-dozen in the other).
Why? Why be alone when you already feel abandoned for caving in to your weaknesses, failing God, and possibly failing friends and family? I think it is because noise fosters more selfishness. We have to disregard the fact that when we are guilt-stricken and feeling "love-deprived," we want to be surrounded by loving people, to help us "feel better," again. The truth is that what got us into that mess to begin with was "the noise of selfishness," and the noise simply doesn't help us move our thoughts away from "me" and back to "Him."
It reminds me of a church music internship that I worked years ago (17, to be exact), and a particularly crazy Sunday full of activities following morning worship services. That day, in general, is not a good memory for me, and I thought and probably said some things I should not have thought or said. Overall, I just wanted to leave...to go home, but I still had a 75-minute drive to get to where I lived, and it was 10PM before I left. So, I cranked up the loudest, wildest, most complex music my little car stereo could handle, and I started blazing my trail. About 20 minutes down the road, I pulled off into a corn field in the middle of nowhere (or pretty close to it), and drove as far into that field as I could, where no one could possibly find me. I got out of the car, met the cool chill in the air, broke out my guitar, and began to worship God in His silence and under His stars...
...
[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/18580420]
Comments
Post a Comment
Comments? Remember, you may be representing Jesus to someone.